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The birth of Alo'e and the growth of our ohana. Ohana means family in the Hawaiian language. When I think of my laboring and the birth of our son Alo'e, the word ohana is one of the first words that come to mind. Not only because Alo'e has made us his family but because our midwife, Karen, her assistant Jenn, and our doula Kathryn, also became our ohana.
After I had my first child I didn't want anymore. The whole experience was unfortunate. I didn't enjoy my pregnancy, I was horribly constipated the whole first trimester and I didn't have the most supportive medical providers. One of the OBs had a sign in his office that read, "Home Delivery is for Pizza". I didn't know, my insurance covered them. They induced me and I wasn't even a week late. I was admitted to the hospital at 10 am, they told me we would have a baby in my arms by that night. That night came and went, and so did another. I was convinced my body didn't work. Why didn't I go into labor on my due date, why did they have to try and force this baby out of me, why was the induction not working? Finally, my water broke by itself as my midwife was unwrapping the amnio-hook, something in my body did something they wanted. After several hours of pushing she was born, I think it was wonderful, I look happy in the pictures but I don't really remember it myself. Maybe it was the drugs, maybe I was just tired but that set the tone for the next year. A few years later I would find out I had postpartum depression. This was how I became a mother.
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December 2020
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